Holding back again

A dream about S. We are working in the same office and I am finding myself very attracted to him. It is a powerful attraction, including sexually, but not limited to that. It is very hard to resist although I feel that I should. Sometimes after work I spend some time with him at home but I only stay for a short time, always holding back. One day in the office I find it almost overwhelming and so leave the room, heading down a hallway. He follows, embraces me from behind and asks me not to go. I reply that I think I had better go. He asks if I feel it too, I admit that I do and add that it is like trying to resist gravity. I turn around and as we are in each others arms there is a great sense of relief in no longer resisting. I feel like the world recedes and for that moment it is just us together. Then I become more conscious of our situation and say that he should give me a script to read from, so I know what to say to others, that I can't find the right words. 

Holding back

A dream about Z. I feel a positive connection between us but he seems unsure, holding back. After a while he moves closer, we embrace. He seems surprised that I accept it. I am very relaxed, he seems to be full of nervous energy. I want to reassure him.

The Group

A group of poets and editors are talking, very relaxed and casual but with a sense of something important that is unsaid, and maybe unsayable. My mentor is there and is mostly quiet. There are comfortable silences in which it seems that things are still being communicated. There is some task that needs to be taken on and I think we are all looking to my mentor to do it, but he does not seem willing. I share with the group memories of a previous meeting we had that went on late into the night, a situation in which I would usually feel vulnerable and yet I was not concerned, while in the group it felt perfectly safe to be out late far from home. After talking for a while we moved on, as a group, creating some kind of collaborative, improvised show as we went, playing with words and movement. Still there was a sense of a task yet to be taken on, something that needed to be expressed that was not being expressed, a collective rather than purely personal thing that was being hidden, some kind of collective suffering that needed to be healed. 

Competition

I'm in a small group taking part in a competition. I get the impression its time limited but not sure how long we have. After a while I realise that I have a task of my own that I have to do, but I don't seem to have any information about what it is. I ask some of the group if they can help me find out what it is I have to do. I'm concerned that I am helping others and not making any progress on my own project. I wonder if I can create my own group to help me. I feel that the rules are unclear.