Cozy room

A strange mood to this, very difficult to describe. I'm in a warm, cozy room with someone in whose company I feel completely relaxed. There are no expectations. He reminds me of J. We are living like animals or children, in the moment, doing whatever feels right. We are also in various states of dress or undress without any self-consciousness at all. Sometimes we snuggle together comfortably, sometimes we leave the room and return. The comfortable mood is always there in the room to come back to. At the end there is a strange but pleasant sensation as he explores my face with his mouth as a very small child or animal might do.

Child ignored

There was a man and a woman on the balcony outside and they were wearing bath towels wrapped around them. I was inside and all I had was a small hand-towel, but I remember thinking it was enough because I was only a small child.

Then they moved further down - it was a long balcony across several rooms - and I went out and walked towards them. The woman would not look at me and as I came closer she got up and moved inside. The man didn't say anything but he made eye contact and acknowledged me.

Respect

In the doctor's office with a doctor who is trying to make a diagnosis. He is doing this without requiring me to remove any of my clothing. I get the impression he believes it would not be respectful to do that. Instead he opens my shirt collar a little and examines the small area revealed. When he has finished he very respectfully kisses my cheek and I realise it is B. (B is a very considerate and helpful friend.)

Green lion

At the edge of sleep I deliberately called up the image of the borderland between sleeping/waking, conscious/unconscious. I followed the fence between them for a while, noticing how similar both sides appeared, although there was the occasional mirage-like structure in the distance on the far side.

Then I saw a green lion appear on the other side, it was watching me and began keeping pace with me. I stopped to look closer and felt very attracted to it, it's power and strength were thrilling and captivating. I had an urge to cross the fence and embrace it. At the same time I was aware that it was a lion, a predator, and it could easily do me harm.

Criticism

I'm called aside by a woman who seems to be my boss. She tells me she's very disappointed with my attitude, that she never saw such an unacceptable performance. As she is talking to me I realise that my mind is not on what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm distracted and not interested in what she's saying. I'm surprised at how little I care about the criticism which would once have been crushing.

No-win

A sense of being trapped in a no-win situation. I know the person I'm waiting for is unstable, possibly dangerous, and I will never feel comfortable around him. I also know that he would not be willing to let me leave the relationship and that anyone who helped me leave would be in danger. I consider trying to disappear, but know I would be pursued and never be able to feel at ease. I keep thinking through all the options and can't find any solution.  

Down and up again

Walking down a broad staircase into water and on the other side of the water is a similar staircase that goes up.

Falling facade

Most of the building had been demolished but the front wall was still standing. I saw a woman drive a large yellow digger towards it, colliding with it with some force. The upper part of the facade swayed and appeared about to fall. I called out to the woman to get away from it before it fell.

Another bus

I get on a bus and take a seat next to someone I know. I'm unsure where the bus is going so I ask him. He avoids giving a direct answer

A drowned woman

There was a bathtub beside me. As I dipped my hand in and stirred the surface I saw an older woman, eyes closed, beneath the water.

A strange mix of disjointed communication and journeys

A woman transforms herself into a kitten-like white animal. I try to talk to her but in that form she reacts as an animal would, backing away when I move towards her. I'm relaxing beside a group talking at a table and at a certain point I comment that the conversation is interesting. It breaks the flow and I wish I hadn't commented. I'm boarding a train but my female companion is not with me. I'm unsure if I'm on the right train or where I'm going but it's filling up with people and I take a seat. I make a kind of nest with clothes and bags so I can hide away and rest. Then I'm getting a bus and I notice the route will take us past an exciting place and I'm looking forward to seeing it, although I don't know the ultimate destination. I've had a little to drink, just enough to feel warm and happy and I know that will make the experience more fun.

New Year's Dream