Not nightmares

I haven't been sure how to record the dreams I've had lately. They have consisted of disjointed images and sequences that made little or no sense in narrative terms. Most of these images and sequences were the sort of things that would occur in nightmares but my reaction to them was not fear but a sort of ridicule and disbelief. 

I was being pursued but then turned and looked back and dared the pursuer to catch up with me, which they did not. I left a place where I had been an actor playing a part and turned back to discuss the part with a character who also appeared to be playing that same part, getting the sense that I was being drawn into a web of uncertainty about who and what was real, and yet I was able to walk away from it with no difficulty. A cat was being subjected to some kind of experiment, its head in a vice and very little left of its body, I was initially disturbed but then there was the realisation that no animal could possibly survive in such circumstances and it was clearly alive so what I was being presented with was simply impossible. There was a notice pinned to the wall beside my front door which I tore off to reveal a hole gouged into the wall, my feeling was that this was an attempt to mark my location but still I went inside and quite casually took a shower, and only after emerging from it I realised that the front door wouldn't shut properly but my reaction was mild irritation rather than fear. At one point in one of the dreams a figure appeared and reminded me that all confusion and fear was self-generated and could be made to disappear simply by remembering that fact.

   

Making progress

I am trying to make my way forward but my companion keeps either grabbing and pulling my arm or leaning against me so that we stumble along like a couple of drunks. I am finding it increasingly irritating to be pushed and pulled this way.

Cold

I am with B at some kind of educational event. I complain to him that I am not getting as much as I expected out of it. Later we are together outside the building, it is very cold and we are both bundled up in multiple clothing layers. We are standing close together to share warmth. I ask if he is ok and he comments that he is still able to feel aroused.    

Slow motion

I'm having a memory replayed for me in slow motion. It is a memory of an earlier one of my series of plane dreams. The one in which another plane is passing far too close to the one I am in. As I watch I can see how it happened. Two other planes are on a collision course, as they make contact one is sent hurtling towards the one I am in. It passes very close by and my plane has to make sudden manoeuvres to avoid it just as we are coming in to land. Once on the ground we overshoot the runway and stop, remarkably, with the nose just at the borderline of the runway and a road. I reflect that all this must have happened so fast in the original experience that I was unable to register the details. 

Unrest

A house dream. The house is large and has many open areas and some smaller rooms. I have some kind of ownership in the place but its not quite clear what form that takes and which areas I have a right to inhabit. There are many other people in the house, mostly sleeping. In the bedroom area that feels most familiar, and that I believe is most likely to be mine, someone is already asleep in the bed. I don't want to disturb them, so I go to sleep on the stairs. This is uncomfortable and I don't sleep well. I get up and walk around and look into some of the smaller rooms and see unmade beds, heaps of discarded clothing and other disarray. I feel that the arrangements are unsatisfactory, I feel like I can't find rest in this sleeping house.

A disappointing experience

There are a group of us who have been taking part in some kind of experiment or experience, it's unclear to me if it was voluntary or not. I am inclined to tell the person in charge of it that the experience was not useful to me, that it was disappointing. The others are fearful about giving negative feedback, as if this might be a dangerous thing to do, and I hesitate, but then confront him. I say that there were times when I thought it had potential and might be becoming interesting but it ultimately failed to live up to my hopes. He did not say anything and appeared to reluctantly accept what I was saying. His posture was slightly stooped and he turned away. I had a feeling of relief that I had found the courage to make my opinion clear and had not been intimidated by him.

The dream I didn't record - end of the road

I try to record every dream I have that I have a clear memory of. I do this as soon as I can after waking. Occasionally I have a dream that I don't record because it is so unpleasant I really want to forget it. A few weeks ago I had one of those dreams. It included a similar sensation to the one at the end of the 'Crash' dream but much more intense. A sense of struggling to hold on to consciousness in a situation of being overwhelmed. As often happens with this kind of dream I was not successful in trying to forget it.

I was in a car travelling at speed along a  road. I was a passenger in the car. The road was gently winding and there was no other traffic. As we rounded a curve the road ended abruptly and the car continued, plunging into water. I had time to take a deep breath before it hit the water and sank. There followed a sensation of struggling to remain conscious long enough to escape.

While it clearly wasn't a premonition of the exact circumstances we find ourselves in with the pandemic that recently overwhelmed us the sensations and emotions involved are strikingly similar.

Crash

Another plane dream. This time the plane was going down. It was a slow and unpleasant sensation. I looked up at the panel above my head and saw that there was a button, where the call button would usually be, that would cause it to crash immediately. I pressed it. After this I had a feeling of struggling to remain conscious.

Gorilla

There was a huge gorilla in the house. I couldn't work out how it could have got in. I avoided it but then someone said that it had taken the baby. I looked and saw a very tiny smear of blood and knew it must be true.