Impending disaster

 Another plane dream. This time we are coming in to land at high speed. There also seems to be a storm force gale blowing. A large piece of metal, maybe torn from a building, hurtles towards us and seems to be on a collision course. Then it hurtles off in another direction. By this time the plane is flying at tree level and a crash seems unavoidable. But it does not happen. Later I am in a large shopping mall. The lights are going out and the shops are closing. It does not appear to be a normal closing down but rushed and people are in a hurry to get away. There is a sense of some impending disaster. 

House party

I was at some kind of large house party, sitting at a table. I stood up to go to the front of the room just as something occurred which I did not really pay attention to. Once at the front of the room it occurred to me that I could pretend to be reacting to the event, even though I had hardly noticed it. I looked around to see how others were responding. I got the impression people were making decisions about what their reactions should be rather than reacting naturally.

White

A white building, bright, clear water pool reflecting light. I've been here before. But never with so much clarity in the detail. A Greek house, on two levels, with terraces, a beach, an olive grove, People walking,  sitting in groups, talking. All very relaxed and calm. Some are naked and some in loose white clothing that looks like it is made from a very light cotton. A sense of it being an educational place but not in any formal way. So much white, the sky is almost white. I want to hear what the people are saying but can't. I am not quite there, although I can see it clearly. 

Poisoned mind

I was having a conversation with my father who appeared to be deeply suspicious of me, giving me nasty sidelong looks and refusing to believe what I was saying. I denied a few accusations and finally realised that he must have had his mind poisoned against me by a paranoid woman that he knew. They both had the same attitude of not listening to or believing what I said. I gave up trying to defend myself as it was clearly hopeless. 

Missed event

With A on our way to an event. We are travelling by bus and when it makes a stop he goes into a shop and I go with him. He spends a long time fiddling around with things indecisively and I get concerned, go out to check on the bus, and it is gone. I am upset and ask him how we are going to get to the event location now? He mumbles and turns away and evades the question. Instead he shows me how he is going to use all kinds of random items to combine into something. I am angry with him, very angry and his response is rather pathetic. He will not make eye contact.

I give up on ever getting to the event and go to rest in what appears to be my old boss's office. My boss is still there but barely acknowledges me. Again, the lack of eye contact.

Words

I was very pleased with myself having found a way to convince J (someone I find to be extroverted in a particularly infuriating way) that being introverted was not a problem, just a difference, it was a different and equally useful set of skills. Encouraged by this success I went on to lay claim to the description of being 'sensitive' as a positive trait, even though the term is often used in a disparaging way, asking if he really thought that being 'insensitive' was a better way to be than being empathic. 

As I was doing this I realised that the words we use carry more or less subtle signals of approval or disapproval as well as meaning, and that we can change our own as well as other people's perceptions by choosing to use different language. Also that what is a strength in one circumstance can be a weakness in different circumstances. For example, being empathic and sensitive might be a useful skill for most doctors in interactions with patients but a disadvantage in a field hospital in a war zone, where being somewhat tough or even callous might get important things done more efficiently. 

An abrupt halt

I crossed a road at a run and came to an abrupt halt on the far side where a bank sloped upwards just beyond the kerb. I found that I had stopped close by someone who looked like Z. (Someone who strikes me as speaking with authenticity.) He placed a hand just below my neck, the phrase 'touched my heart' came to mind, then touched my face and nodded to me. I felt a warmth and a kind of restrained power. It was comforting and reassuring.