Saturday 22 February 2014

Nurse

A nurse is following me. She has given me some kind of transfusion but I've become impatient and walked away from it. She seems unhappy with me, as if I'm not taking it seriously enough. I know that I might weaken without it but I don't think that really matters very much. She finds a way to attach a small device to my arm so that it can continue to work while I walk around.

Wednesday 19 February 2014

Sea

There's a dream I came here to look for that I can't find. I'm sure it happened within the timescale of this journal but it's not here. So either I'm mistaken about when I had it or, for some reason, I never actually wrote about it. Which is odd because it is very clear and also unusually pleasant. I'll write it now but I have no idea where it should appear chronologically.

I'm swimming in the sea with much more confidence than I would in reality. I feel in my element, able to move easily and gracefully. I spend some time twisting and turning slowly on the surface, floating for a while on my back before each rotation. I like the alternation of air and water on my skin, enjoying the contrast of warmth and coolness. I'm aware of the power of the sea but also the support and sense of buoyancy it gives. I want to delay the time when I have to return to dry land.

Sunday 16 February 2014

The game

We're playing a game of some kind and I'm unsure of the implications if I make a certain move. I ask my opponent to explain the rules again and he does but in a quick, impatient way that I can't follow. I suspect that he knows how hard I find this kind of thing and I get angry. I can't see any future for us. Then something odd happens. I'm suddenly aware of a much deeper connection that we have that makes our difficulties in communicating seem unimportant. We don't speak about it but both acknowledge it. There's a feeling of great relief.

A while later we are on a wide balcony with a long uninterrupted view. The windows of the other rooms in the building suggest they are much smaller and more restricted than ours.

Tuesday 11 February 2014

House 2

I'm beginning to realise I may have made a mistake in buying a house. One of the upper rooms has polystyrene ceiling tiles that have been painted over in a dark shade of blue. I know they'll have to be removed. It will be a messy unpleasant job. I try to convince myself that at least the structure is sound. Then I go into a room and see that  part of the side wall is missing. Through the gap I can see that the house next door is an empty shell.

House 1

I've bought a large house and am worried that I won't be able to keep it secure. It has so many windows and doors. Some girls are running from room to room playfully. They want me to join them but I don't feel playful. I pull a curtain back just a little and look out. There's a large open grassy area outside and some houses on the far side. The houses look poorly built and cramped close together. I'm not sure which is the front door to the house. I want to find it and check the locks.